Simple Guide to Personal Vows
PHOTO BY KYLE LOVES TORI PHOTOGRAPHY
Things to keep in mind when as you write your vows-
● Do not stress.
● Do not worry that you may do it “wrong”
These are your vows and anything you write is by definition “right”. There are no perfect vows, so do not try to make your vows perfect.
● Do not worry about keeping things short.
Vows do not need to be all inclusive and express every feeling. No one is expecting your vows to be all encompassing; so relax and do not be afraid to keep things short.
● Be you.
Do not worry about matching your fiancé's vows. Personal vows are as different as people are. Stark differences in the vows add to the fun and uniqueness of your ceremony.
● Do NOT search the internet or ask ChatGBT!
People will know right away if you got examples from Pinterest, Google AI, or ChatGBT. These writing aids are a sure way to sound canned or insincere.
What are personal vows-
Personal Vows are expressions of your feelings and commitments. Most people do not know where to start when it comes to drafting personal vows. This aid will help you get started on writing your vows.
Personal vows come in three basic forms, but are usually a combination of two or more of these elements:
Your Journey =
When I met you.., I first knew you were..., I cannot wait to grow old with you.
Love Letter =
Why and how much I love you,
Vows and Promises =
I will always be there for you, I promise to always....,
Reflecting on these elements will help you craft your personal vows. Often this list of prompts is all it takes for you to be able to finish your vows.
PHOTO BY SHUTTERFREEK
Your Journey
How it started-
How did you meet?
What did you think the first time you saw each other?
Where were you when you met? Personally, emotionally, professionally etc.
"I was not looking for a mate and did not think I would ever find one."
How did your life or lifestyle change after you started dating?
What has been the best part of dating, or what has been the biggest or best change in your life since you have been together?
How it is going-
What is something you love about where you are now?Personally, emotionally, professionally etc.
What is something that you love doing together?
Looking Forward-What is something that you are excited about for your married life together?
What is something you look forward to doing together as you grow old?
Love Letter
What is something really quirky your fiancé does that you find cute?
List some things you are glad your fiancé does, that they enjoy doing?
Make a short list of things you love about your fiancé, what things do you brag about to your family and friends?
What do you do that other people have complained about, but your fiancé does not mind, or kind of likes?
What is your favorite part about your fiancé ?
PHOTO BY KYLE LOVES TORI PHOTOGRAPHY
Promises
Take some standard vows and rewording them in your own words. Try to make it specific to you and your fiancé when you can. As an example: “To have and to hold” could be rewritten as "I promise to hold your hand at the doctor, even though you pretend that you don't need it.”
To have and to hold
Keeping only unto you / Cleaving unto you
Love and support
To listen and hear
For richer or poorer / In good times and bad
In sickness and health
Putting it all together
After you finish the writing prompts read back through them. Wait a day if you want, but
then read them again. After that, take a few parts that you like the best and try to write a rough draft of a short set of personal vows. Allow yourself to be short, simple, sloppy, or just plain weird.
Formats or structure are not needed in personal vows, but they can be a great way to start laying out what you want to say. A simple format to use starts with the journey you personally went through to fall in love, then goes into a love letter about the things and ways you love your fiancé, and then ends with the promises you want to make to your fiancé. Start super short and build it up as you feel led. Pick two or three things about your "journey" (the section here or any other aspect of you falling in love) that mean the most to you. Then pick two or three things that you love about your fiancé. Then end with a few short promises you want to make.
After you have done this much, take a break and return to reading it a few times. Y ou may feel led to add aspects or elements, or you may feel good with what you have.
Did I do it “right”?!?
Resist feeling like what you have is not long enough, good enough, or "not right". If it is how you feel and true to your relationship it is long enough, it is good enough, and it is "right"
PHOTO BY KYLE LOVES TORI PHOTOGRAPHY
